Dad's Story - Part 2 - The First Few Days

(Be sure to check out my last post first)

Monday, November 20, 2006

After getting home and posting the good news on the baby's blog, I settled down for a good night's (morning's) sleep. Meg's mom was already en-route and arrived about 7 o'clock or so, although I stayed asleep.

I got up around 11 AM, had breakfast, got showered, dressed, etc, and then posted some pictures on the blog. Then, I headed to the hospital to meet my new family.

I got there and found Meg with Maddie and her Mom. Meg was feeling better, though only got about 1.5 hours of sleep, due to the many interruptions you get in the hospital. My goal for the day was to share the good news with everyone.

So, I got out the phone list, which had been carefully organized into sections: "Call when we are admitted to the hospital, call when we start pushing, call when the baby is born, call the next day when there is time." Well, if you remember from the previous evening, there wasn't any time for those first two categories. However, I had to tackle the "call when there is time" list.

So, taking up a few hours, I called all of our friends and family. I also called the handbell choir and canceled the practice I had scheduled that evening. We would still be playing on Sunday, however.

In the meantime, I enjoyed time with Meg and Maddie. I didn't quite feel like Dad yet at this point. There are lots of people in the hospital to take care of the baby, and I was so busy with making phone calls that I didn't have the chance to get much hands-on experience. I, however, did change my first diaper.

Meg and Maddie also struggled more with nursing. It was not going well. It only partially worked if one or two nurses were there to help. I began wondering how we were going to do this when we got home.

As the day and evening when on, the room just seemed to get more full with people. My family came over, and Maddie got to meet her Aunt Laura, and Uncle Nick. Aunt Caitlin was also there. It was nice to have so many people there, but the room was only so big, and Meg and I were able to breathe a sigh of relief when everyone went home.

All day, however, my neck was still hurting, and it seemed to be getting worse. I was so happy, but really wasn't enjoying myself. I didn't quite feel like myself the whole day.

I still hadn't finished my lesson plans which I started on Sunday, so I REALLY had to get them done. Rather then finish them at home, I decided to stay at the hospital with Meggie while I worked. I said "bye" to Meg and Maddie, and headed home around midnight or so, because I had to go to school the next day.

Before going to bed, I gave Max one of Maddie's receiving blankets from the hospital so he could get used to the smell. Max pretty much likes anything you give him, but he was really interested in this blanket. When Max and I got into bed, I was holding the blanket to my chest. He came over and took it from me, brought to 'his side' of the bed, and rested his head on it and fell asleep. It looks like Max will be a good 'big brother!'

Tuesday, November 21
Today I learned that I apparently can't wake up without Meg there. My usual morning routine is to set my alarm for 5:33 (yeah I know, just accept the weird time, there used to be a logical reason for this). I hit "snooze" until 6:18, get up, get showered and dressed, have breakfast, watch the news, and then head to school around 7:15 or so.

My PLAN was to get up even earlier, and leave earlier, since I didn't have anything ready to teach that day. Well, I ended up waking up at 6:52! No time for breakfast, I showered, and put a very confused Max back in the crate, as Meg's mom and sister were still asleep.

I rushed off to school, grabbed breakfast AND lunch on the way to school, called Meg to tell her how important she is to me... I NEED HER TO WAKE ME UP! I also tried to figure out how I was going teach today, since I wasn't prepared at all. I finally decided that I was going to be my own sub today, and just use my emergency sub plans.

School was pretty hectic and nerve-racking. I didn't really want to be there in the first place. Everyone was very happy for me, and wanted to hear the story, and see pictures, which was nice, but I was really busy, and didn't have a whole lot of time to stop and talk. Then there was the matter of personal days. I wanted to take of Wednesday and Monday, to give me a 6 day weekend. However, both of these days surrounded the Thanksgiving break, which is a contractual issue. I had to get permission from the superintendent to do this, which involved leaving a message with his secretary, and then waiting in suspense all day as I wondered what on earth I would do if I didn't get these days.

After teaching (playing a video) all day, I had finally had gotten approval for my days from the principal. So, I spent the rest of the afternoon getting everything ready for my substitute for the next two school days. It didn't matter to me that I was staying at school late, because I would have the next 6 days off!

I left school and headed to the hospital to visit Meggie and Maddie. Meg had another pretty tiring day, and didn't get much sleep last night. Meg's mom visited her during the day. Soon after I got there, my parents arrived to visit. Meg had just started another attempt at nursing, and I wanted to give her some alone time, and I wanted to get something for dinner, so my parents and I went downstairs to the hospital cafe (which was actually pretty good, and cheap!) to give Meggie and Maddie some success.

After my parents, we attempted to watch Gilmore Girls, however, didn't get to see much of it between taking care of a baby, and the many visits from various doctors and nurses.

I ended up staying at the hospital until really late. Meg was very bummed about the nursing not going well. We also felt like crappy parents when the night nurse took her away, and explained that we didn't feed her enough (we couldn't even get her to nurse, so we were feeding her formula with a syringe, and no one told us how much we had to feed her). Meg did have success with the pump that night though, so it looked like we were stuck pumping, and then syringe-feeding her until we got this worked out. I stayed for a while for moral support for Meg, and because I really missed her. It really wasn't coming home unless she was there.

I finally headed home (after 1 or so), and got some sleep.

Wednesday, November 22
I overslept again, though it was not a major problem, as my only plans for the morning were to get the house cleaned and straightened so everything was nice for Meg and Maddie.

While cleaning, the stork guy arrived, and put it on the lawn. This was a surprise to me, as my parents ordered it. I would've never thought to do that.

After getting the house ready, I drove to the hospital, with the carseat, as we were going to be taking Maddie home today. I stopped at a drug store to buy some ibuprofen, as my neck was still killing me.

Meggie and Maddie were up when I arrived. Still no success with nursing, but at least we had somewhat of a backup plan now (pumping and syringe-feeding). We got the room cleaned up and everything packed. We had a few more visits from doctors and nurses, and were allowed to leave when we heard from everybody.

Leaving the hospital was a little stressful. We had packed a winter coat for Maddie to wear, which didn't work, since she could swim in it. We didn't really have anything else warm enough. This was also the first time Maddie went into the carrier, and also the first time we heard her really wail. To this day (only 4 weeks later to be fair), she still hates getting in her carrier, but usually mellows out when the car starts moving. We also left the hospital with a lot more than we checked in with. I had to borrow a cart from the hospital just to get everything out.

We finally got the car loaded up, and Maddie had settled down, and we headed home for the first time. When we got to the house, Mom and Cait had went out shopping to give us some alone time. We introduced Max to Maddie (Max still doesn't quite know what to make of her).

It was nice to finally get a chance to use all of the stuff we had acquired this summer and fall. It was also nice not to have to care for a baby in a 12x12 hospital room.

Soon Meg's mom and Cait got back. They had brought us dinner from Peter's. Meg and Cait played with the baby while we ate, and soon my parents and Laura arrived to bring the stuff over for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

Our first night was a little interesting. We were still sticking with pumping and syringe feeding, though weren't really sure we had the idea. Maddie slept more during the night than I had really expected, I guess since I had heard so many horror stories about baby's not ever sleeping at night.

Thursday, November 23, Thanksgiving
My parents came over early in the morning to start the turkey in the oven. Thanksgiving was at our house, although we weren't hosting it. They left us with instructions to baste the turkey every half hour, and told us they would be back later.

In the morning I had made an attempt to get the house cleaned up, but was kinda tired, and dealing with the stress of caring for a newborn. Meg and Maddie also made one of their last attempts at nursing. After an hour or so of helping Meg try to get Maddie to latch on, all three of us were in tears. Out of desperation, I called my mom for advice. She said to give her a bottle (which you aren't supposed to do if you are trying to nurse), because the most important thing was that Maddie got nourishment. Meg gave her a bottle, and for the first time ever, it seemed like Maddie was happy. We knew that this was the right thing, even though it wasn't what we planned. At this point, we figured Meg could just pump what we needed to feed Maddie, and that way we wouldn't have to formula feed.

Eventually my parents came back over, and Meg and I were instructed to take a nap, since we were both tired and stressed. While we slept, the rest of our family set the table and prepared the meal. Meg eventually got up to socialize, while I got some more sleep. In the meantime, my grandparents arrived, and soon I got up for dinner.

Dinner was delicious, and was fun, even in our sleepy state. Afterwards we took a bunch of pictures, relaxed, and talked. Soon the house was empty, and only Meg's mom and Cait were left. Meg and I managed to get some more sleep that night, though found sleeping with a baby in the room wasn't all that easy, even when she was quiet.

To be continued...

Dad's Story - Part 1 - The Birth

Okay, okay, that is probably old news to most of the people who read this blog, but, as anyone with a newborn at home would know, there isn't a whole lot of free time to blog.

Most of my daughter's birth as been documented on her blog, and Meg has also blogged a lot about it. But, I have yet to have a chance to blog on the experience from a dad's perspective. So, since Meggie has 'baby duty' right now, I am going to attempt it.

Okay, my last post was all about the big weekend of furniture moving, and me not looking forward to a stressful week of school. Well, that week of school went fine, and all of that furniture moving ended up giving me a really bad neck-ache. We also found out that week that we were going to be scheduled for an induction on Maddie's due date, November 24. With some kind of date set in stone, the planning began. Thanksgiving would be at my parents house. Meg's Mom and Caitlin would be coming joining my family on Thanksgiving to be there for the birth. Meg's Dad was flying in from California on Friday morning to be there for the birth, and would be staying till Tuesday. I submitted paperwork to take personal days on Monday - Wednesday, November 27 - 29. That would give me 7 days off with my new family. Little did we know, plans would change.

Since maybe I thought moving more furniture would actually make my neck feel better (it didn't, and by the way, I really don't think that, I am just a glutton for punishment), we went furniture shopping on Saturday, 11/18 at Ikea. My mom came with us (actually, we came with her, since we took their van). We got a new coffee table, side table set, and end table. I also got under-cabinet lighting for the kitchen. After enjoying some Swedish meatballs, we came home, and I spent the rest of the evening assembling the furniture. Meg was very tired after a day of walking around Ikea, and well, being nine months pregnant.

Sunday I got up, and spent all morning doing school work. Tuesday started a new teaching cycle in the new marking period, and despite my hard work this summer to stay ahead, I hadn't quite stuck with that. I spent all morning and day that Sunday making worksheets. I began working in the office, where I am usually the most productive, but Meg was not feeling well at all. She was complaining of pressure 'down there,' and said it was related to the baby dropping (which can occur weeks before delivery). I, of course, had thought, "could this be it?" but didn't want to jump to any conclusions, so I didn't say anything at the time.

Worried about Meg, I brought my laptop and school papers upstairs, and made a desk out of the new side table I had assembled the night before. I didn't feel comfortable working downstairs with her upstairs in pain.

I got all of the worksheets done through Christmas, and was ready to start on my lesson plans, when, BAM, at 4:45, Meg had a VERY bad version of the pain she had complained about this morning. She described it is having to go to the bathroom badly, but it caused even more pain when she tried to go. After a few minutes, she said she felt better. I thought this might be a contraction, so I wrote down the time: 4:45, and how long it was, 2 minutes. Meg thought this was a little silly, because she was sure this wasn't real labor, as it was nothing like what it usually felt like. I thought better be safe then sorry.

The afternoon went on, and I was working on our Sunday night routine of getting things ready for the week before we headed to my parents. Boom... another one... 5:02, 2 minutes. And then another one... 5:13, 1 minute. At this point, I got the stop watch out. Meg thought I was crazy.

We were debating whether or not we could go over my parents. We decided to do so, because we didn't want my parents to worry too much, (5:25, 2 minutes).

I grabbed the stopwatch, the pen and notepaper I had been writing things down on, and we got in the car (5:40, 2 minutes). On the way there, Meg had another 'contraction,' (5:50, 2 minutes), though was still convinced this wasn't the real thing.

We got to my parents, and had explained what had been happening (6:15, 2 minutes). They seemed a little concerned but weren't too worried. (6:30, 1 minute).

Meg was definitely (6:35, 1 minute) feeling worse, but was doing a good (6:42, 1 minute) job of not showing her pain, (6:49, 1 minute), as she didn't want to concern anyone. We had dinner (6:56, 1 minute), ham steak with pineapple (7:05, 2.5 minutes), and we joked about whether this was it or not. Meg didn't think so, and at this point, I don't think my parents did either. I wasn't convinced yet. After dinner, Meg called her mom to let her know about the pain (2 during the half hour she was on the phone). I was still timing things with the stop watch and writing stuff down (7:43, 1:15).

Eventually, this became a family activity (7:46, 3:30), with everyone watching the clock, watching Meg, and watching me with the stopwatch. (7:52, 4). I knew that real labor contractions were supposed to have some kind of a pattern (8:01, 2:30), but had found that with just writing down times, it was (8:10, 3) a little difficult to see a pattern. (8:14, 1)

I borrowed some graph paper (8:19, 2), and worked on a visual representation of these 'contractions,' to see if they were regular (8:14, 1). They really didn't "look" (8:19, 2) regular to me, so I had began to assume that (8:27, 1) these were Braxton-Hicks, or false labor (8:35, 5) contractions.

Meanwhile, my parents started to get a little more concerned. Even my brother, though branded with his odd sense of humor, was interested (8:49, 3). Meg still wasn't convinced, as probably felt very (8:57, 2) on display about all of this (9:03, 2). My dad pulled me aside and said, "I think tonight is going to be the night." (9:06, 1) (9:08, 1). My mom had also agreed, and urged us to at least call the doctor (9:14, 2).

Meg got on the phone, and tried to read my graph to tell the doctor how the contractions were coming. The doctor has asked if they were 'regular,' and we said no. (9:23, 1). To us, 'regular,' would look more consistent than these 'contractions' were (9:27, 4). The doctor said to keep timing, instructed Meg to take some Benadryl, a hot shower, and get a good night's sleep (9:46, 3) (9:56, 2).

With that said, we decided to head home (10:06, 3) (10:11, 2). My parents instructed us to call them when we got admitted to the hospital. My dad once again said this would be the night, and we got in the car and headed home.

The car ride home was very rough, with these (10:19, 2) 'contractions' (10:22, 4) coming more frequent, and more painful. Meg was still not convinced. I was beginning to think that this could be it, but didn't want to get my hopes up, and wanted to be supportive. (10:26, 3) (10:29, 1).

We got home, and Meg got in the shower (10:40, 2). She was in a lot of pain at this point (10:46, 3). At this point, I went on with our normal (10:50, 1) Sunday night tradition of (10:51, 3) posting the name game clue on Baby D's blog. This took a while, since I kept checking in on Meg, who was pretty much paralyzed in pain in the bathroom (10:58, 2). At this point, it was getting more and more difficult to time these contractions (11:05, 1). As Meg explains it (11:08, 2), the pain was pretty much constant at this point (11:11, 6), and it was getting very difficult for her to even tell me when the contractions started and ended (11:17, 2). At this point, Meg called the doctor again, and with barely any words due to the pain, explained what was going on, and the doctor (11:22, 1) told us to go to the hospital (11:24, 2).

We got in the car, Meg not even able to speak at this point. I gave up on timing the contractions. I was driving, so I couldn't write anything down. I was trying just to remember the times that Meg communicated to me simply by squeezing my hand and nodding. I eventually lost track, and stopped thinking about it.

Our normal traffic-y trek up Gibbsboro Road was easier than usual, since it was close to midnight. We got to the ER around 11:50 or so. Valet parking was closed, so I just pulled up, got Meg out of the car, and an ER attendant helped her into a wheelchair. I ran back out to the car to park it. I left behind everything, including my jacket. I thought about taking the suitcases in, but Meg really thought we were going to be sent home, since these didn't feel like what she thought contractions felt like, and though they came frequently, they weren't regular by our definition.

I ran back into the ER after parking the car, and wheeled Meg through a long corridor to the main part of the hospital. The security guard noticed us, and opened up the patient elevator. At this point, I was staying calm, and trying to remember all of the stuff we learned about the hospital in child-birth class.

Into the elevator, 2nd floor, Labor and Delivery. We got off the elevator and I picked up the phone to get into the ward. Explained that I was Meg's husband, and that we had called. The door opened up, and we stopped at registration.

The woman at registration didn't notice us at first--she was on the phone, I was getting anxious, but didn't want to be rude. She finally noticed us, and asked Meg all kinds of questions that I answered for her, since she really couldn't talk. They led us to the L&D room, and we met our nurse.

Meg got into the bed, and the nurse checked her out. All the while, Meg was asking for an epidural for the pain. They first had to hook the fetal heart monitor up to her, which they had a lot of trouble doing. They went to break her water to do an internal monitor of the baby's heartbeat, but found out that her water had already broken (we had no idea). They also discovered that she was 5 cm, and were very happy for her, since this is much further than most new moms are when they come into the hospital. Meg was in a lot of pain, and wasn't exactly excited. "Epidural," she asked again. Not yet, she had to get a whole IV bag of fluid in her first. This process was delayed, because they couldn't find a vein for the IV. Then, there was nine million test tubes for blood work they had to fill. "When can I get my epidural?" Meg asked again. After the IV, after the blood work came back, since her BP was kinda high. Meg is in extreme pain at this point.

So the IV went through, and the blood work came back okay, and it was time for the epidural. but FIRST, they checked her one more time. 8 cms! You woulda thought someone won the lottery with how excited the doctor and nurse were. Meg is still asking for her epidural. "Sorry, it's too late for your epidural, it's time to start pushing." I could tell Meg was very scared at this point. She had been the poster-person for epidurals, and though all of those natural childbirth people were nuts. She wasn't prepared to do this without pain medication.

I think she did feel some relief when the doctor asked if she had felt the urge to push. As I mentioned before, Meg had described the pain as kinda like having to go to the bathroom. So, Meg told them yes, and they were like, "Let's do this." I had a "really? now?" type feeling, and all kinds of thoughts started running through my head... "Ah, the camera's in the car!" "What about the phone list!" "I have to call my parents!" "I have to call Meg's parents" "What about the hours and hours sitting in the hospital playing Uno waiting to become more dilated" "I'm wearing a nice sweater!" "I'm gonna have to take tomorrow off!" "Really? Now?!?"

So, at about 1 am, Monday 11/20, I took my sweater off, and got into position (hold one of Meg's legs). Then the pushing began. I was really afraid I was going to grossed out. I certainly was when we watched the video in childbirth class. I had planned to focus on Meg's face during the delivery, and not to watch what was going on down there. I started like that, but then slowly found myself watching what was going on, because, it was really fascinating.

After only a few minutes of Meg pushing, I could see the top of Maddie's head. Just a little bit though, but you could see hair and everything.

The next half-hour was rough. Each session of pushing moved the baby out a few more cms, and I was beginning to doubt how this process was actually going to work. I felt really bad for Meg. I had never seen her in so much pain. She just kept asking "How soon?" "How soon?" And like parents in a long car trip, the nurse and doctor kept saying "Just a few more pushes."

Then, all of the sudden, Meg let out one heck of a scream, and Maddie's whole head was out. We told Meg, and she didn't believe us. Then, at 1:38 AM, in what seemed like a nanosecond, there was a gush of blood (I know, gross), and a purple, screaming baby on Meg's chest. I burst into tears at this point. They weren't quite tears of joy at becoming a father, but more tears of relief at this experience ending for Meg. We sobbed, and looked and talked to Maddie, and then they took her to get her all cleaned up.

Meg continued with all of the afterbirth stuff, which I missed (not that this was a bad thing), since I was calling people... our parents.

My parents were surprised, since there instructions were to call when we were admitted to the hospital, and the baby had already been born. The got in the car, and headed to the hospital.

I called Meg's mom next, who was very surprised, and sleepy, as it was the middle of the night at this point. She then left Gettysburg in the middle of the night to see us. Then, I called Meg's dad, who was completely shocked, as last he heard, this was supposed to happen on Friday, when he was flying in. I told both of Meg's parents I would give them more info as soon as I knew, and then went back to Meg and Maddie.

I found Meg laying there, recovering, looking much happier, with Maddie on her chest. We spent a few minutes looking at Maddie, talking to her, and just trying to reflect on what just happened.

Next, my parents arrived, and were overjoyed of course. In the meantime, I had run out to the car to get the camera, and began to take some pictures. Mom and Dad met Maddie, and my Mom was informed that she won the name game contest, guessing "Madeline Rose" her name.

We all headed upstairs one floor to the nursery. Meg and I went in with Maddie, my parents looked in through the window. They weighed and measured her (8 pounds, 1 ounce, and 20.5 inches long). Meg then was sent to her room on the third floor, and I stayed with the baby for a while as she got her first bath, and got her tags. She had to stay there for a little while longer till they were certain she could stabilize her own body temperature. I alternated from checking on Meg to checking on the baby.

The eventually moved Maddie into Meg's room, so they could bond some more. My parents said goodnight, and Meg, Maddie, and myself were alone as a family for the first time.

Knowing that I would not be going to school the next day, I didn't feel the need to leave anytime soon. I hung around for a while. Meg and Maddie had made their first attempt at nursing, and it did not go well. I stayed through to be supportive, as Meg was very bummed about this. But at this point, there were still other options we were going to try. They then took Maddie back to the nursery, where they would feed her, and Meg could get some sleep.

Very excited, but exhausted, I headed home. On the way, I updated my in-laws on Maddie and Meg. Meg's Mom was en-route, scheduled to arrive in an hour or so. Meg's dad was thrilled, probably a little disappointed that he couldn't be there for the birth, but overjoyed that he would get to meet his granddaughter in a few days.

I arrived home, and let Max out of the crate. I was very confused at this point, as it is rare that he spends the night in a crate. It was now 6 AM Monday morning, so I called our sub caller, gave her the good news, and told her I wouldn't be in school. Next, I updated the baby's blog with the good news, then, with Max by my side, got some much-needed rest.

So, there is the story of her birth. I've got some other stuff to do today, so I will have to take a break. But, I definitely need to write more about this experience.