Being a dad

Okay, I realized after I blogged last, that the days just began to run together. I remember the day before, and the few days afterward with a lot of detail. However, everything else after that happened so quickly, that it is really hard to give a detailed account of. I can't believe that Maddie is already six weeks old (upon finishing this entry, she is now eight weeks old). It really only seems like she's been around for about 2 weeks. But on the other hand, I can't really picture what it is like without her.

So, I decided to sum up my feelings on being a dad.

I don't want to say that I was nervous about becoming a dad, but I really wasn't sure how it was going to be, or if I was going to know what to do. Surprisingly, everything came very naturally. I was changing diapers like a pro from the beginning. And even a few weeks ago, I was very good at reading Maddie's language--knowing when she was hungry, sleepy, needed her diaper changed, or just plain cranky.

Despite the fact that we had planned to nurse, it just wasn't meant to be in our situation. We tried, for about two weeks or so, and eventually decided, despite the associated guilt, to formula feed. This has actually been a wonderful bonding experience for me. I really enjoy participating in the late-night feedings. I am glad that Meg doesn't have to completely shoulder the responsibility for this, and I am glad that Maddie and I get some extra time together.

When Maddie is happy and smiling, it melts me. When she is cranky and crying, I am proud that I actually know what to do to get her quiet. (Thank you Dr. Karp and your "Five S's") I so far am completely confident in my fathering skills.

What I am nervous about, though, is the future. I feel like I know what I am doing now, but I also know that babies needs change when they get older. Like, she is going to eventually start crawling, eating solid foods, walking, talking, going to school, dating, going to college, getting married, etc. Am I going to know what to do then? How exactly do you childproof a house? When do we start to feed her solids, and how much? How do you potty train a kid?

Despite all of these questions and unknowns, I am pretty sure that it will all work out, because we are usually pretty good at figuring things out.

We are also starting to get into a routine, which is nice. We were told you can't get a 6 week old into a routine, so I guess it is really more of a routine for Meg and I. We are getting much better at getting her to sleep, and knowing how much formula and diapers to buy. Things are starting to feel like they are getting back to normal around our house. After all, I am actually blogging! (truth be told, I started this post on January 1st, 2 weeks later, I am finishing it).

Here is pretty much a typical day:

Meggie has baby duty (she's wonderful, isn't she). Baby duty really hasn't been too bad, since Maddie now sleeps at least 6 hours at night *knocking on wood.* Plus, the times that she does wake up are starting to become more predictable.

So anyway, I get up around 6:20, get showered, Meggie gets up and starts breakfast while I get dressed. Maddie sleeps through all of this. Most mornings I leave without seeing her, which can be tough, but I'd rather Meg be able to get some more sleep.

I go to school, missing my wife and child very much (I'll blog about my recent experiences at school in another post--too much to say). My New Year's resolution has been to keep school at school, so I have been leaving later and finishing my work there, rather than taking work home. I head home around 4:30 (if I am lucky), get home 40 minutes later, greet Meg and Maddie (and don't forget Max--we usually have a play session outside when I get home), and then take over baby duty while Meg makes dinner. I shouldn't call it baby duty, because that sounds like work. I really miss her during the day, so it is a chance for us to reconnect.

I feed her, entertain her with toys (she responds to something new every day it seems--this weekend we discovered the Baby Mozart DVD), and play with her. She goes in her swing while we eat, and then some more time with Maddie. Since I am not taking work home, unless there is something else pressing I have to do, Maddie is pretty much mine for the rest of the evening. Meg and I have been chilling in the family room more often (hey, we ARE a family now). We've got our entertainment system. My desk has been relocated to the family room (the "office" is now a 2nd guest room), which I like a lot better, because it means I can work at my desk, and still be with Meg, Maddie, and Max. Maddie's got her pack-n-play (bassinet/changing table), bouncy seat, and gym mat. Max has his recliner.

Maddie usually gets two bottles from me when I'm home at night. One around 5, the other around 8:30-9. I usually give her this last bottle in the nursery, with the white noise on, and only the night-light on. After feeding her, I change her, swaddle her, and rock her to a sleepier state, then gently put her in the crib, and cross my fingers that she will fall/stay asleep.

Then Meggie and I get ready for bed--and the day is over.

Pretty good deal, huh? Weekends are even better, because I get to see Maddie during the morning and the early afternoon, when she is the most pleasant and responsive. Around early evening, she starts to get kinda cranky. I also get baby duty at night too, which despite the fact that I am feeding Maddie and fighting to stay awake, it is actually enjoyable.

Well, I am glad I finally got to blog. If you don't hear from me often, you should now understand why. I am going to make an attempt to blog more frequently. Maybe in list form or something, just to get the words out.

I do get around to updating Maddie's Blog, as well as our Picasa Web Album more often. If you really want to find out how I/we are doing, check those out too. Meg also blogs more frequently than I do.

Okay, we better get to bed so I can get some sleep, just in case Maddie decides she wants a midnight snack. I'm on baby duty tonight--tomorrow's a day off!